As You Think, So You Are: How our mindsets affect our life experiences
Jan 29, 2022![little kid with glasses thinking](https://kajabi-storefronts-production.kajabi-cdn.com/kajabi-storefronts-production/blogs/33928/images/i3gDQfFR0Su428CEi8m6_1280x720_Title_Image_Kajabi_2.png)
10 minute read
By Bethany Rees
As people, we are pretty stubborn in our thinking. Once we get a story in our head, it takes a lot of convincing to change that story. And the thing is, we’ve been listening to stories and telling ourselves stories our whole lives. We become stuck in how we think about ourselves or the world around us; which in turn affects how we think about many other things we experience.
For example, as a child you probably had some sort of tough experience, and through your thought processes you told yourself a story that is impacting how you think to this day.
- Maybe you uttered the phrase “I’m just not good at math,” or reading, or social studies, or science, or sports, or public speaking, etc.
- Maybe you said “I’m just not ___ enough,” with the ___ being anything from good looking, smart, or talented.
- Or worse yet, maybe you’ve told yourself “I don’t deserve ___,” with the ___ being love, respect, being valued, trust, etc.
- Then there’s the flip side where you might say “I am God’s gift to___,” (women, men, my spouse, my sport, my business, my church).
In thinking about yourself in regards to your talent or self-worth in that area, you then told yourself a story that you either were or weren’t something. Your story created hard boundaries for what you were, are, deserve, and could be. And in accepting that story, you stopped trying to change it…you stopped trying to make progress within you.
What experiences and thinking led to stories that have you told yourself about you?
How are those stories keeping you locked into a specific thinking pattern about yourself or others?
Like you, I’ve told myself plenty of stories. I told myself that I would never be good at math, be skinny, be comfortable with conflict, and many more.
Well, my friends, we have been thinking about ourselves and things all wrong. In so many circumstances, we have developed tunnel thinking, unable to see all the other possibilities or story-lines available for the circumstances we find ourselves in.
Our mindset is the way our mind is set to think about things. In other words, if a mind had a dial on how to analyze, reflect, and develop feelings about things, people, experiences, or circumstances then there are different settings it can be adjusted to. However, I’m not a pedigree scientist. But, Gary Klein, Ph.D. is, and according to him in his Psychology Today article,
“A mindset is a belief that orients the way we handle situations—the way we sort out what is going on and what we should do.”
There are four popular beliefs or “settings” for mindset that are the most researched and discussed: Fixed vs Growth and Scarcity vs Abundance.
Fixed Mindset Vs Growth Mindset
In her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success; How We Can Learn to Fulfill our Potential (2016), world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D. says that our lives are heavily influenced by how we think about our talents and abilities. According to Dweck, there are two types of mindsets: growth and fixed.
A person with a growth mindset looks at obstacles in life as a challenge to be overcome and an opportunity to learn, while a person with a fixed mindset looks at challenges as threats to their talent and intelligence.
The growth mindset provides hope of a better situation because the mind is willing to work and learn more skills through the adversity of the situation. With a growth mindset, there is always the thought that improvement (no matter how small) will be made. It focuses on learning skill versus being born with talent. Charles Schulz's fictional cartoon character Charlie Brown had a growth mindset when he said
“If you grit your teeth and show real determination, you'll always have a chance.”
That’s right Charlie Brown…”you’ll always have a chance,” if you have a growth mindset.
The fixed mindset setting, on the other hand, has our mind thinking that “things are as they are with no hope of getting better,” no matter the situation, circumstances, or effort. In other words, you are either born with talent or you are not. You are either good at math or you’re not. Its setting focuses on talent alone and not the opportunity of learning new skills.
Famous comic strip and cartoon character Popeye the Sailor Man, exhibits a fixed mindset when he says
“I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam.”
He always thought that without his spinach he was nothing. With a fixed mindset, many people build their identity around what they are or what they are not. Having a fixed mindset causes the mind to constantly squish the development of perseverance in overcoming obstacles. It can cause people to essentially quit or “die on the mole hills” of life.
Scarcity Mindset vs Abundance Mindset
Beyond growth and fixed mindset there is another way your mind is set to think about things: Scarcity mindset vs abundance mindset.
In Stephen R. Covey’s infamous book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he really coined the terms scarcity and abundance mindset by describing the concept of a pie. Scarcity-minded people believe there is only so much pie to go around. And once someone takes a piece of that pie, there is less pie for everyone else; until finally there is no pie left. On the contrary, abundance-minded people believe the pie is never ending and everyone can have piece. There is plenty of pie to go around.
Source | Meganhallier.com
There is no greater example of abundance mindset than Jesus himself. Jesus is all about freely giving you the abundant life (not because you deserve it but because He loves you no matter what and wants to give it to you). In Matthew 14: 13-21, Jesus' disciples were stuck in their concerns about how the people would be able to eat. They had a scarcity mindset when they said they only had 5 loaves of bread and two fish, and that it was impossible to feed that many people. However, Jesus was always teaching and showing how the abundant life was possible through him. Jesus took the 5 loaves and 2 fish, blessed them, and passed them out to 5,000 men (plus the women and children that were present). All ate food until they were full, and there were 12 baskets remaining. That my friends is the concept of abundance.
Source | Christianity.com
With a scarcity mindset our thinking is always within the boundaries that there is a limit to how much ___ there is in the world. Fill in the blank with concepts of: success, money, market, popularity, friends, status, etc. A scarcity mindset has the thought life focused on what we don’t have, and how we have to get it before the next person does.
When thinking of a scarcity mindset, I immediately picture King John in the story of Robin Hood. Well to be honest, I picture the Disney version of King John…you know, the one that sucks his thumb. He believes there is only so much power and money available, so he has to do whatever it takes to make sure that he gets it all. That includes sending King Richard off on a “crazy crusade,” and taking money from the poor in order to make him rich.
Jesus and The Hunger Games
When I think about how to change my own mindset in specific areas of my life, I look for examples to help light my path forward. There are no greater examples of how to live and think than that in the bible.
The gospel of Jesus, is one of salvation (being saved from sin) and hope. However, it’s important to understand that you don’t earn your salvation…it is a free gift that you only have to choose to accept. On the other hand, when you become a believer, the world isn’t magically filled with unicorns and rainbows in which you will never be tempted to sin again. You will in fact continue to sin (again, thank you God for our salvation not being based on our works). But, as we grow closer to God, we begin to develop growth in how we think about ourselves and the world. We begin to understand the hope that every obstacle or sin we face does not define us and that we can continue to make progress in growing closer to God. Because…
WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE and the gift of abundance is free to all who believe in Jesus!
We have unending hope in Jesus.
You see, hope is a small spark that starts a giant flame. Even President Snow himself from the Hunger Games movie said: "Hope, it is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective, a lot of hope is dangerous."
So how do we change our thinking?
Self awareness and metacognition (thinking about your thinking processes) when it comes to fixed versus growth or scarcity vs abundance mindset is a great first step. So when challenges come, slow down and ask yourself:
Does this situation define who I am?
What skills or lessons can this challenge teach me?
The more we recognize and reflect on our thinking habits and the stories we tell ourselves, we become more able to slow our thinking and adjust the settings. We can in fact turn the mindset dial to that of growth and abundance. We can begin to think about challenges, obstacles, and failures as lessons that are refining our skills and giving us wisdom to take into the next challenges, obstacles, and failures. Through a growth and abundance mindset, we have the hope to continue on the journey of progress and to invite others to come along with us.
My friends, challenges and conflict will always come. We will have challenges in our marriages, our parenting, our careers, and our social interactions. That is life on earth. We need to understand that we have a choice in how we handle adversity! We can wrap our identities around the situation, curl up in a ball and say “I can’t” or "it'll never change," or we can change our thinking and say “that didn’t go as planned, but with God all things are possible,” and continue the journey towards progress. May you talk to God daily, allow Him to guide your thinking, and be amazed at how you abundantly grow in your mindset.
Know Better. Do Better. Live Better. MINDSET Matters
Rocks before Sand!
Scripture:
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
~James 1: 2-4
Theme Song:
References Used:
- Klein, Gary (May 1, 2016). Mindsets: What They Are and Why They Matter. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/seeing-what-others-dont/201605/mindsets
- Dweck, Carol (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York: Random House.
- “The Hunger Games - 'Hope' Clip” YouTube, uploaded by IGN, 9 January 2021, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e3wADQ7IXw
- The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=james+1%3A2-4&version=ESV
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