3 minute read
By Bethany Rees

Everyone Needs Therapy

In my middle-aged life I’ve lived through and seen enough “stuff” to know that everyone should have a therapist (and hopefully a Christian one with a biblical perspective).

Heck, I’ve always joked with my kids when I “parented” in a way they didn’t like, that they could work it out in therapy when they’re an adult. (And maybe my wit and sarcasm might be a topic of my parenting in one of their sessions🤣).  

But seriously, I’m learning to be intentional in my parenting and not reactionary. 

Sounds so adultish and responsible of me right? 

Sure. 

But man, no matter our intentions as parents, we just never know how our children will internalize our behaviors and actions. 

For example, as my daughter Ashlyn revealed to me, I’m still creating some situations that may need to be discussed in therapy later. 

Let me explain…

Turns out, I'm a Crazy Parent

Ashlyn was home from school because she had a stomach bug the night before. 

We were at our island in the kitchen, and I was standing eating breakfast while she was sitting across from me.

There was no conversation due to my eating until my 13-year-old said this: 

“I really don’t feel good today, but I’m going to just choose a good mindset so I’ll feel better. Having a positive mindset will adjust the way I feel.” 

I was astonished at the wisdom my teenager just dropped. I mean she recognized that no matter her circumstances she still had a choice in how she thought about the situation. 

Before I popped another handful of blueberries in my mouth, I responded with: 

“Wow Ashlyn! That is such wisdom recognizing that your mindset affects how you feel. I didn’t learn that until my late 30’s and here you are knowing it at 13.” 

Not 1 second after I put a ton of blueberries in my mouth (yeah I’m a “shove it in my mouth” type of eater), she quipped back with this: 

“Well what do you expect when I’m being raised by crazy parents?” 

Y’all, I almost choked on those blueberries because I was laughing so hard. 

After I made sure I could breathe again, I asked:

“Crazy parents? I didn’t realize that your dad and I were crazy.” 

In typical fashion, her wit shot right back at me:

“Of course you are. What other parents talk about mindset, and mind over matter, and all that stuff?” 

Oh y’all. Both of my kids crack me up with their wit and their truth bombs. I really think they teach me more than I teach them. 

Intentional Parenting is a Double-Edged Sword

With all of my “intentional parenting,” my kids see it as riding a "crazy train" and will probably need therapy to dissect how “My mama was always teaching a lesson with every situation I had as a child. She never just let me be.” 

Every child internalizes their parents’ parenting styles differently, and you just never know what they really think about it until they become a teenager or are an adult in therapy. 

As the saying goes, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions,” but I’d like to alter it to “the road to therapy is paved with crazy parenting.”

And well…we parents usually do have the best of intentions when raising our children, but sometimes they just see us as crazy. 

We are human after all. 

So the next time I go to “teach my kids another lesson,” I’ll be sure to take stock in the fact that while I think I’m a genius parent…my kid(s) think I’m a crazy parent. 

Know Better. Do Better. Live Better. Teach, but also Learn from, Your Kids.

Rocks before Sand!

Scripture: 

“ I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

~ 3 John 1:4

Theme Song: 

Ozzy Osbourne - Crazy Train (Lyrics)

References Used:

• The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.