4 minute read

by Bethany Rees

Paula Abdul and science has it right...opposites attract.  

Not only is it true with magnets, but it’s typically true with dating and marriage relationships as well. 

My husband, Jason, and I are no exception. He is super analytical and organized. I am more of a free spirit with a ton of ideas that I struggle to express in a succinct manner (thus I get the longer sentence to describe myself, LOL!). He’s more quiet, and I’m more of the one you have to ask to stop talking….or yelling if we’re at one of our kids’ sporting events. He tends to say “no,” and I tend to say “yes.” He is 6’2” and thin, and I am 5’5” and well...let’s say “big boned.” Yep, opposites attract. 

But beyond personality or physical stature, I’ve come to realize that we both have different perspectives, or points of view, in how we look at life. Literally. 

A few weeks ago we were taking a long walk through our wooded neighborhood park. Now remember I’m nine inches shorter than him, so I’m constantly trying to keep up with his stride. So during our walk, I’m head down, focused on keeping up, when he began to gently nudge me to the edge of the sidewalk. 

My reaction was less than graceful when I responded “hey, why are you cutting me off?,” only to have a bicycle come whizzing past us at that exact moment. Jason responded with a smirk and said, “you never saw him did you?” 

Nope. I never did. My eyes were looking down as I focused on my pace.

We continued walking, when suddenly I noticed a disgusting half eaten corpse of a mouse on the path right in front of us. Jason was about to step right on it, so I “gently pushed” him out of the way. He lost his balance and almost fell over, so he said “why did you push me?” I told him to look at the repulsive dead animal he almost stepped on, and then I asked if he ever saw it. He did not. 

As we continued our walk, we laughed at how both of us were paying attention to different things the whole time; and how that aligned to our personalities and our natural perspectives of life. 

Jason is a planner, and is always looking way ahead.  I am more of a “be in the moment” kind of person. He’s looking far into the future to see what’s coming, so he can prepare. I’m all about what’s happening now, so I can enjoy it. He sees the whole forest.  I see the tree in front of me. 

After our adventurous walk, I couldn’t help but think about how differing perspectives are needed in every relationship and on every team. Then I felt bad for having a less than stellar reaction to his nudging me to the edge of that sidewalk. Instead of getting ticked off and reacting, I should have thought "why would a reasonable person be guiding me off a path I was intent in staying on?"

So my lesson learned was that differing perspectives add value, and helps me to see even more obstacles on my path. 

To say it another way...instead of always pushing our spouse, parents, or friends to be more like us, we should appreciate their different personalities and strengths because they help us gain a new perspective.

So the next time your spouse or close friend gives you a “gentle push back,” don’t automatically have a big reaction like I did with Jason on our walk. Instead, ask what they notice from their perspective because while you see the tree, he/she may see the forest or vice versa. By gaining a new perspective, you just might see or experience something you typically wouldn’t otherwise, and be safer and cleaner for it.

Know Better. Do Better. Live Better. Gain Perspective.

Rocks before Sand!

Scripture: 

“The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.”

~Proverbs 4:7 ESV

Theme Song: 

Opposites Attract by Paula Abdul

I Can See Clearly Now by Jimmy Cliff (video with lyrics posted by Mila Awal)

Reference Used:

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.