Dear Grief...

faith grief mental health Jun 22, 2024

4 minute read

by Bethany Rees

“Dear…” Series: Many of us put on a brave face or wear a mask to hide our internal struggles with: guilt, fear, comparison, unworthiness, regret, unforgiveness, rejection, anger, and grief. The “Dear…” series is dedicated to shedding light, hope, and freedom on these internal battles that we often face alone. BUT, we are not alone! Because of Jesus, we can win our battles and find freedom.

Dear Grief,

You are such a complex state and emotion in my life. You are necessary on the path to healing from loss, hurt, and disappointment, and yet if I linger too long in your presence, I can lose hope, joy, and peace that surpasses all understanding.

I feel your presence when life isn’t going the way I planned. I feel your presence when relationships come to an end. I begrudgingly crawl through you when I lose someone I love.

Grief, God has carried me in and through your presence, and He has changed my mind and heart concerning you.

I Confess:

Grief, I confess that I had a wrong mindset about you. I have had two trains of thought about you and God has shown me how they are both wrong.

For the longest, I thought that if I allowed you in my heart and mind that I would be considered weak. I didn’t want to allow you in because I didn’t want to feel all of the emotions that I know you bring with you.

However, on the occasion that I did begrudgery allow you in, I sat in your presence too long and wallowed in my own anger, bitterness, disappointment and loneliness. By taking my eyes of God and staring only at you and my loss, I became blind to the healing and hope that Jesus freely gives me.

Grief, you have scared me for far too long, but now I see you for what you really are:

A necessity in processing the loss, hurt, and disappointment of life on this side of heaven
An opportunity for me to sit still and be held by my Heavenly Father
A temporary state of being and feeling that I must travel through but should never stay in

John 11:35 “Jesus wept.”

Psalm 73:26 “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Isaiah 54:10 “For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”

I Repent:

Grief, I will no longer run from you if God calls me to pass through you.

Your valley may feel like a valley of the shadow of death, but I know your valley will not last forever. God will carry me through and show me how I am to fear no evil for He is with me. His rod and His staff will comfort me.

For I know God is near the broken-hearted and he has heard my cries. He bottles my tears and comforts my soul.

Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Psalm 34:18-19 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

Psalm 22:24 “For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him.”

Psalm 56:8 “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”

I Cast Off:

Grief, in the name of Jesus I will accept you only in the healthy way God intended for you to be in my life.

I will allow you your time, but you will not consume my joy and turn it to bitterness.

For I know that we live in a fallen world and bad things can and will happen.

I release the control I fight so hard for by recognizing that I am not the author of my life story, God is. I will experience disappointment, pain, and loss...BUT GOD will use them all for good and His glory.

Grief, my hope and joy is not in my circumstances therefore you may have your time, but anger and bitterness will not follow after you any longer. For my hope and joy is found in Jesus alone.

Lamentations 3:21-24 “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

John 16:22 “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.”

Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

I Bless:

Grief, I know God will never leave me in my sadness.

He will bind up my broken heart.

When I grieve that life or plans don't go the way I think they should, I will remember that God's ways are higher than my ways. I will trust His plans for my life and the path He has called me to walk.

When I grieve the loss of a loved one, I will remember that my God is my hope for I know that death is not the end for me nor those I love that believe in Jesus.

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Isaiah 61:1-3 “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.”

Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

So Grief, by the time you read this blog post…know that our relationship will be a healthy one. I will feel all of your feelings in the safe arms of my Heavenly Father and Savior, and I will know that your presence will not last forever.

Know Better. Do Better. Live Better. Grieve and Let God Bind Your Broken Heart.

Rocks before Sand!

Scripture:

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” ~ Matthew 5:4

Theme Song:

It Is Well With My Soul ~ Chris Rice ~ lyric video

Steven Curtis Chapman - Beauty will Rise - Lyrics

References Used:

Freedom: Small Group Leader Guide produced by Church of the Highlands https://freedom.churchofthehighlands.com/curriculum

Bible Verses About Grief:

John 11:35 “Jesus wept.”

Psalm 73:26 “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,

for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Psalm 34:18-19 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

Psalm 22:24 “For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him.”

Psalm 56:8 “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”

Lamentations 3:21-24 “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

John 16:22 “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.”

Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

Isaiah 54:10 “For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Isaiah 61:1-3 “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.”

Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

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