In life there are so many roads to choose from. So many paths that can and will lead to so many different outcomes. And while I’m not a Rhodes scholar, I do feel like I am a “Roads” Scholar, so over the next few blog posts, I’d like to share what I’ve learned from six specific roads I’ve taken: the Low Road, the High Road, the Long Road, the Road Less Traveled, the Fork in the Road, and the Yellow Brick Road. 

This week’s lesson learned shares what helps us take the HIGH Road.

5 minute Read
By Bethany Rees

The “High Road” Definition: Making decisions that show love, kindness, honesty, integrity, patience, and understanding towards others despite their actions or reactions towards us. 

I would love to say that I've always taken the high road. I mean my parents did a great job of always telling me to follow the golden rule: “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” 

So thanks mom and dad. But what you and I didn’t know is that I’d be serving the public for 18 years and y’all…the public can be nasty. The public at large can hit below the belt. 

And those of you that serve the public, know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m talking about you police officers, health care workers, retail clerks, hospitality servers , and educators. 

While I believe most of the public can be rational humans who know how to have a conversation, I, along with my fellow public servants, have encountered the other side of “public.” 

While I have a ton of stories, let me summarize with two…I have been in the presence of “public” that got within 6 inches of my face yelling at me and threatening to sue me,  and “public” that was so upset about a curriculum assignment they cursed me up one side and down another…calling me a “G– D—, Mother F—.” 

As you read in the previous blog, I had my times of taking the low road, and my first internal reaction to situations like these are typically like the incredible hulk. 

BUT, nothing has secured my path in taking the high road more than my faith and the continued growth of my emotional intelligence. 

I have learned so much through conflicts and “situations” that led me to quiet my inner hulk and express my inner Jesus. Let me explain how faith and emotional intelligence can help you take the high road when faced with the tripwire situations that can so easily take you down the slippery slope to the low road. 

Faith

The number one thing about having a strong faith is it secures your identity in God. You know who you are, and what Jesus has done for you. You understand that this world, and the people in it, have no control over you and your eternity. Bam! 

Understanding who you are in Christ removes any power from another person being able to “push your buttons.” Why? Because you have nothing to prove to anyone, and their opinion of you doesn’t matter. Through your faith, you walk in absolute freedom. Boom!

Now with that faith comes a new creation of yourself…You are no longer the “low road” person you used to be, but you now bear all the blessed fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Your faith pretty much creates a force field where other people’s attacks can’t get to you. Other people have no control over your emotions, your actions, or your identity. Strong faith protects you from the feelings of rejection, humiliation, and the selfish desire for status.

In other words, having a strong faith in and obedience to Jesus rewires the way you think and act. It gives you the strength to always choose the high road…Jesus’ road. You choose to do the right thing no matter what the other person chooses. 

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is the “ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.” This means you can identify how you're feeling at lightning speed and be able to guide those feelings from a reaction to a formulated response. It means that your emotions don’t control you. 

Now people with high emotional intelligence cannot only see and manage their own emotions, they can see and connect with what other people are feeling too. They have the ability to empathize with others and diffuse any situation by making the other person feel safe, seen, and heard… instead of threatened. 

Because here’s the truth: more often than not, other people’s reactions to you have little to do with you at all. It is usually pent up aggression for others things in their life or other battles they're facing… and they just happen to spew upon you. 

People who are stressed out tend to overreact to simple situations or conflicts. Overstimulated parents tend to lose their temper with their kids and the checkout clerk. And those struggling with internal battles other people never know about showcase all kinds of emotions towards others. 

So here’s the deal, build your own emotional intelligence to identify and manage your feelings and identify and empathize with the feelings of others…so you can respond. 

Taking the high road isn’t always easy because darn it, sometimes we just want to win and prove why we’re right and the other people are wrong or unjust. But the temptation for others to lose so we can win is a slippery slope back down to the low road. 

Remember that your faith and emotional intelligence relieve you from playing the mental game of status and gives you your own personal pause button so when others go low, you have the self-control to always go high. 

Taking the High Road means: 

• we emphasize with others. 
• we don’t pop of at the mouth to hurt others or to “win.”
• we stay calm and seek to understand others.
• our voice stays low, calm, supportive in seeking a “win-in.”
• we walk away from a challenge for status because we know there’s really no winners…only losers in these kinds of challenges. 
• taking ownership of our own faults and causes of a given situation.
• we can admit how we were wrong and can do better next time.

Know Better. Do Better. Live Better. Take the High Road!

Rocks before Sand!

Scripture: 

“13 For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.“ 

~ Galatians 5:13-15

Theme Song: 

Phil Collins Another Day in Paradise Lyrics

References Used:

• “Emotional Intelligence.” Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, LLC. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-intelligence.
• The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.