7 minute read
By Bethany Rees

Let me go ahead and state the obvious: Time is finite and time goes by fast. 

Life is such a fast paced up and down roller coaster ride that so often we grip on to our seat with white knuckles holding on for dear life and before we know it - decades of our life are behind us. 

I have long been in search of how to get off the speeding roller coaster. Not so I can stop the movement forward in my life, but so I can be more fully present in the moment. I don’t want to have my head down, nose to the grindstone. I want to experience joy and harmony in each relationship I have and each situation I experience. 

And as I travel on my journey of being fully present in my life and those I encounter, so far I’ve learned at least humbling 6 lessons that are opening my eyes, ears, heart and hands to being present in the moment, to serving others, and yes to having harmony, peace, joy, and success in my personal life and leadership. 

So I have six lessons I have learned that I want to share and my hope is that you are able to then reflect on what lessons life is teaching you. 

Here are my 6 Lessons: 

Lesson 1 Pray First

Of all the lessons I’ve learned in life and leadership the most important one is to go to God in prayer first. 

Before I start my day, thank Him for His good gifts. 

Before my family goes our separate ways with school and work to pray for His protection and guidance and to remember that His will and authority is greater than any problem, conflict, or constraint we’re going to face that day. 

And before I walk into that meeting, to pray for my heart to be humbled and His wisdom and spirit to be poured out in the interaction I’m about to have. 

Pray first and step into the presence of your Heavenly Father. Make prayer your steering wheel, not your spare tire! (Thanks Pastor John for that reminder!)

Lesson 2:  Zoom out

So often I set goals in the areas of health and career, but the truth is every area of my life is intertwined and affects all the others. 

If I’m toxic or ill in one area, it is going to spill over into all the other areas of my life, so I have to pay attention to the health of the whole of my being. 

I mean how much more of my life have I been ignoring and not making growth in?

Paul J. Meyer, founder of the Success Motivation Institute came up with the concept of The Wheel of Life that helps us somewhat categorize the various areas of our lives so we can be more mindful and intentional in them. Meyer’s Wheel of Life Categories:

1. Spiritual and ethical 
2. Family and home 
3. Financial and career 
4. Mental and educational
5. Physical and health 
6. Social and cultural 

I tend to hyper focus on just one area of my life, but I’m slowly learning to be intentional in reflecting on and growing in every aspect of my life. 

Lesson 3: Don’t be legalistic

So many people conform to what societal pressure says they should be or do, and then they set unrealistic expectations for themselves or goals that don’t align to their TRUE AIM of what they really want out of life. 

Yep, let me go ahead and raise my hand to this one. I’ve spent time focusing on all the “sand” elements of life instead of just being who God made me to be and focusing on the essential “rocks” of life.

Here’s the problem with being legalistic: it adds on so many unreasonable expectations or restrictions that it sets people up for failure. The goal should never be perfection because perfection isn’t possible…the goal should always be relationship over religion and progress over perfection. 

Here’s the truth about having a legalistic mindset: it has people only seeing the broken rules and keeps them in a constant state of comparison to the golden ruler. 

Being in a constant state of disappointment eventually leads people to say “screw it…It’s impossible to do, so why even try?”. 

So don’t be legalistic or excessive in following someone else’s list, plan, or formula…focus on relationships over religion and focus on progress over perfection. 

Lesson 4: Develop Mantras

The fourth lesson I’m learning in life and leadership is to develop a mantra, a phrase or rally cry to keep me moving forward. 

The truth is that our mindset or how we think about things affects our experiences. So much so that this is a truth you can hang your hat on:

The biggest battle you’ll ever face in life is the one in your own head. 

As soon as you set a new year’s resolution, set a goal, or make a declaration…temptation, problems, conflicts, and constraints will be attacking you from all sides. Just ask the person working to lose weight, the addict working to stay clean, the hot-tempered person working to stay calm, or the anxious person working to control their thoughts.

I’ve memorized scripture and concepts of longer scriptures to capture my thoughts to remind me of what is true so the lies of the enemy can’t hold me in bondage. 

For example, 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” reminds me that I can do hard things…which is so needed in parenting and leadership.

And I love Craig Groeschel’s catchy phrase “GETMO.” I often struggle with perfectionism and analysis paralysis so I tell myself GETMO all the time which means it’s “Good Enough to Move On.”

As I work on a presentation, or a blog post 😜, I’ve learned to stop over analyzing the text and graphics and GETMO…make it good enough to move on.

So I’m learning that developing mantras and rally cries help me through the moment, challenge, or situation. 

My lesson in this realm is to of course pray first in all things but also use mantras, or a rally cry,  to carry through those hard times of temptation, overwhelm, problems, conflicts, or constraints.

Lesson 5: Share Without Shame

Boy or boy does shame keep us in a silent prison locked away from true freedom. Shame is nothing but a bunch of lies of the enemy that we have believed. 

The pandemic has put a HUGE spotlight on our need for connection and how it ties into our mental health. People need connection and people need community. But the lies that we believe and the shame we feel as a result of it are keeping us from being vulnerable and sharing our struggles and hardships with others. 

By speaking out about the struggles and hardships you face, you essentially release its power over your thoughts, emotions, and mental health. Just by speaking it out loud to God in prayer and to a group of trusted friends you will feel the sweet release from shame’s bondage and step into freedom. 

Do not stay in a prison of silence about your struggles. The door is unlocked by Jesus, just walk through it and learn to share without shame. 

Lesson 6: Put on the lens of Gratitude

You know I’ve often caught myself only thinking about the negative interactions or experiences I have on a given day and oh how the negativity seeps into my thoughts, attitude, and behaviors. 

Focusing on the bad keeps us looking at our day and circumstances through the lenses of selfishness, self-pity, and victimhood. 

While, yes of course we face the brutal facts of whatever situation we’re in, we so often miss all the good surrounding it. And y'all there is SO MUCH GOOD happening throughout our day if only you and I learn to see it. If only we put on the lens of gratitude. 

Giving thanks completely adjusts the attitude of our hearts and minds and honestly and gives us a new prescription of lenses to see the things, people, and circumstances in our life and leadership. 

So lesson number six of life and leadership is to put on the lens of gratitude. 

Y’all, life and leadership has a way of humbling you and teaching you lessons and often teaching you lessons the hard way. And I am no different. The older I get and the more experiences I live through, the more lessons I’m learning that are humbling my spirit and my leadership.

So what lesson(s) is life teaching you? Take time to reflect on them, internalize them, and to share them with others without shame. 

Know Better. Do Better. Live Better. LEARN THE LESSONS.

Rocks before Sand!

Scripture: 

Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.

~Psalm 25:5

Theme Song: 

Jeremy Camp - Keep Me In The Moment 

References Used:

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.