5 minute read

By Bethany Rees

It’s February and Valentine’s Day is around the corner. So how are you going to show the people in your life that you love them on this special day? 

Are you going to get them flowers or candy? Are you going to take them to dinner at a nice restaurant? 

While flowers, candy, and dinner for Valentine’s Day aren’t bad, focusing on those things alone in our relationships just might have more to do with commercialization and romance than it does with actual love. 

Valentine’s Day is heavily promoted and sure our loved ones would feel left out if we didn’t acknowledge it, but what about the rest of the year? And what about love beyond February 14th? 

There is so much pressure on expressing romantic love on one day of the year! So when I think about Valentine’s day, I can’t help but ask “what’s love got to do with it?” 

In her 1984 pop hit, Grammy Hall of Fame singer Tina Turner asked the question concerning relationships: “What’s love got to do with it?”. She then goes on to sing “what’s love, but a second hand emotion.” While Tina Turner didn’t write those lyrics, many people do agree with the concept of those lyrics, in that love is in fact an emotion. 

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary describes love as an affection, attraction, or attachment, and an emotion as a mental reaction experienced as a strong feeling toward a specific object.  

So when I say I love my spouse and I love my chips and queso, I’m saying I have a strong affection for and a nice emotional reaction towards both. But shouldn’t there be a difference? If not, then when my spouse ticks me off and my queso is scorched the circumstance may cause me to no longer love either one. 

Of course that kind of thinking about love is not right. Duh. But….don’t we somewhat believe love is an emotion based on situations? 

By taking the widely accepted public view of love (affection for) as an emotion (feeling because of circumstance), and our English language only having one word for love, it’s no wonder people are constantly falling in and out of love with everything and everyone. Depending on the circumstances, the emotion of love will be either produced or not produced. 

If love is an emotion that can come and go based on the event. Could that explain why so many marriages end because of infidelity or “irreconcilable differences?” If a couple has a string of bad circumstances in their relationship, of course the emotion of love won’t be created. 

Side Note: I am not judging anyone that has been divorced, but I do pray that God will heal that deep love wound that was created because of it. Also, If you are in an unsafe relationship, please seek safety and assistance right away: Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.

However the bible doesn’t describe love as an emotion (feeling based on an event), but a characteristic/attribute of God and a motivation for us. The English language has only one word for love. The Greek language, however, has several, and the bible was translated from Greek. So the main three Greek words for love are: 

1.  Eros refers to physical love or sexual desire. 
2.  Philia means affectionate or friendly love.
3.  Agapē is the unconditional and sacrificial love

The bible mostly refers to agapē love (over 200 times), rarely refers to philos love, and only mentions eros love one time in the book of Proverbs. So let’s take a look at what the bible says about love. This will help us answer the question, “what’s love got to do with it?” as we prepare to better show love on a daily basis beyond February 14th.

Biblical definition of what love is and does: 

Love (agape) is patient and kind; love (agape) does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love (agape) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ~1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (agape emphasis is mine)

God is Love (Agape Love) 

“For God so loved (agape) the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. ~John 3:16 (agape emphasis is mine)

Beloved, let us love (agape) one another, for love (agape) is from God, and whoever loves (agape) has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love (agape) does not know God, because God is love (agape). ~1 John 4:7-8 (agape emphasis is mine)

“But the fruit of the spirit is love (agape), joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” ~Galatians 5:22-23a (agape emphasis is mine)

We are to love (agape) God and love (agape) others

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love (agape) the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love (agape) your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” ~Matthew 22:36-40 (agape emphasis is mine)

A new commandment I give to you, that you love (agape) one another: just as I have loved (agape) you, you also are to love (agape) one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love (agape) for one another.” ~John 13:34-35 (agape emphasis is mine)

So in reading what agape love is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (is patient & kind, bears, believes, hopes, endures, and is not arrogant, rude, selfish, or irritable) and knowing we are called to “agape” love others as God “agape” loved us (shown throughout the entire bible) then it seems that chocolate, flowers, and dinner on one day of the year doesn’t really have a lot to do with agape love. 

So if all your relationship “eggs” are in the “big gift for Valentine’s Day basket,” you may want to reevaluate your definition and expression of love for your special someone. 

Let’s grow our definition of what love is so we become and then give away God’s agape love. Then as we carry each other through the hard times of day to day living, and people ask us why we stay, we can reply, “It has everything to do with love. Agape love.” 

Know Better. Do Better. Live Better. AGAPE LOVE

Rocks before Sand!

Scripture:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

Theme Song: 

Reckless Love - Cory Asbury

References Used:

• “Love.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love. Accessed 24 Jan. 2022.
• “Emotion.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/emotion. Accessed 24 Jan. 2022. 
• "Agape." New World Encyclopedia, . 7 Feb 2019, 15:57 UTC. 24 Jan 2022, 20:16 <https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/p/index.php?title=Agape&oldid=1017946>.
• The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.