"Roads Scholar" Series

In life there are so many roads to choose from. So many paths that can and will lead to so many different outcomes. And while I’m not a Rhodes scholar, I do feel like I am a “Roads” Scholar, so over the next few blog posts, I’d like to share what I’ve learned from six specific roads I’ve taken: the Low Road, the High Road, the Long Road, the Road Less Traveled, the Fork in the Road, and the Yellow Brick Road. 

This week’s "lesson learned" shares some outcomes from taking the LOW Road.

Taking the LOW Road - Fighting For Status

4 minute Read

By Bethany Rees

The “Low Road” Definition: Making decisions that knowingly hurt or harm others in order for ourselves to reap some sort of benefit. 

I have taken plenty of low roads in my lifetime, especially in my younger years. 

From publicly displaying nastiness towards someone to secretly talking bad about someone behind their back, to totally judging a person based on their look or situation. Oh and let’s not forget all of my early road trips with my husband where I used to lay out my case on why he was the problem in the relationship and not me. 

Yeah, I know…shameful. I used to spew all kinds of hurtful words around. 

And I’ve come to realize that all of my thoughts, words, and actions while on these low roads really rallied around the concept of status. 

And every teenage drama movie backs up my theory. From Grease (1978) to Can’t Buy Me Love (1987) and Mean Girls (2004) to Disney’s Zombies (2018), every teenage movie plot is about trying to decrease other’s status while increasing others. 

Raise a hand if you understand the low road I’m talking about. The low road of fighting for status. 

And you’d think we adults would grow out of caring about status, but we'd all be wrong. 

Now as we’ve aged, we’ve learned to mask our “low road” through bragging about our careers, bank accounts, or children’s accomplishments, or through phrases like “Bless her heart” followed by an insult or gossip, and…oh Lord forgive us... our prayer requests that are really just gossip. 

Here’s the paradox though: the more we choose to take the low road and attack another person’s status, while we might feel like we’ve gained more status in the process, we are actually losing even more confidence to be who God made us to be. By comparing and insulting others, all we’re really doing is continuing to chip away at our own authenticity.  

I mean, I’ve even sat in church before comparing myself to other women in their cute little dresses with their cute little families instead of worshiping our great God. Oh the shame!

Why do we feel that everything is a competition with other people? 

Why are we always comparing ourselves and our lives to other people’s? 

Why do we feel the need to knock others down to lift ourselves up? 

I’m saying “we,” but maybe it’s just me. 

A few years ago, I was feeling really bad about myself and how much weight I had gained through a very stressful time in my life (I totally ate and drank all my feelings), when God revealed to me that my constant battle was for status and my desire was for affirmation from others. He reminded me that all I ever had to be was His child. 

This revelation really removed all the status and societal pressure off me. With remembering that all that matters is my “status” in Christ, I felt like I got a spiritual bath from all the muck and mire I had on me from the years I spent on the low road. 

If you find yourself thinking, talking, or acting badly toward others…check your heart.

Are you on the low road desiring hurt or harm to others' status in order for you to feel better about yourself? 

If so, you don’t necessarily have a low road problem as much as you do an identity problem.

A relationship with Jesus is what feeds the spirit and soul of identity. It completely removes the desire for status because you have absolute confidence in who you are. So you no longer have to wish harm or status downgrades for others to feel good about yourself. With Jesus, you just always have contentment and joy…and so you begin to truly cheer for others. 

Your judgmental face, your behind the back comments, and up front snappy comments just melt away. How? Jesus changes your heart which changes your desires, thoughts, words, and actions. 

If you’re tired of always being on the “low road,” give your heart to Jesus, and you’ll quickly find a new road to walk. 

Know Better. Do Better. Live Better. Get Off The Low Road.

Rocks before Sand!

Scripture: 

For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” 

~Luke 14:11

Theme Song:  

Andy Grammer - Spotlight Ft. Swoope & Andy Mineo (Lyrics)

References Used:

• The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.