(4 minute read)

by Bethany Rees

I’ve been in education for 18 years and if there’s one thing educators always miss out on, it is the opportunity to drop their kids off on the first day of school. So after having left education to start my own business, I was more than excited to take my daughter to school for her first day of 6th grade. Little did I know that our morning adventure to school would remind me of a valuable lesson about a really bad habit.

It's the first day of school; here’s how our “special” morning played out:

~At Home~

Me: “Go shower. Eat breakfast. Make your lunch. Don’t forget to make a water bottle. Did you brush your teeth? Do you have everything you need? What about your mask?” 

My daughter after every sentence: “Ugh.” 

Me: “Ok, let’s leave early because traffic will be bad.”

Daughter: “Can we take Lucius (our dog)? Dad and I always took Lucius with us.” 

Me: “No” 

Daughter: “Ugh.”

~In the Car~

Me: “Let’s listen to country music.” 

Daughter: “No. That’s mine and daddy’s thing.” 

Me: “Ok, Christian hip hop it is.”

Me: “Let’s pray for today when we get to the stop light.”

Daughter: “Dad and I never prayed.” 

Me: “Well we are.”

~One mile out from school~ 

Daughter: “If you’re going to tell me bye and I love you, can you do it now and not in front of the school?”

Me: Sarcastically,  “Bye and I love you.”

~Driving up to the front door of the school~ 

Daughter: “Stop here. Dad drops me off at the front door.” 

Me: “Well I’m an educator and I know the car rider line rules, so I’m pulling all the way up.” 

Daughter: “Ugh. Be more like dad.” She gets out of the car.

Me: “Bye, I love you!”

Daughter: “Ugh” and off she walks to 6th grade.

As I pulled away, I thought “I waited all these years for this? Well missy, I’m so sorry I’m not your daddy and I don’t do things H-I-S way.”

But then something hit me, and I'm hoping it was maturity...I’ve experienced this whole “comparison of what IS to what WAS” habit before and it is a joy killer. While in this situation, I was on the receiving side of this comparison habit, boy do I usually find myself on the creation side of comparing what IS to what WAS or better yet to what I think things “SHOULD BE.” Any way I compare it, my joy is always stolen from today.  

Comparing what "IS" to what "WAS" can steal the joy of today.

You see, for six years I worked at a junior high school and had 5 different principals. That’s not a typo...5 principals in 6 years. As my co-workers and I grumbled about having yet another new principal and what new initiatives he or she would bring along with him or her, I had an epiphany by the 4th principal.  During that transition between the 3rd boss leaving and the 4th coming in, I came across Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” as well as many of his videos. (Besides the Bible, this book is my number one recommendation to people. You can learn more about the book here.)

One of Covey’s quotes that resonated with me the most was “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”

In other words, so many things come to steal our love of, our joy in, and our focus on the “main thing.”

Comparison is a bad habit that does just that. You see, it didn’t matter the circumstances that surrounded me/us or the minute details that would change between the past principal and incoming principal. Our job as teachers was to provide safety, education, and inspiration to our students. Our goal, or the main thing, didn’t change no matter who the new principal was. I thanked God for the amazing reminder of what my "main thing" was as an educator.

Just like that, my anxiety of new initiatives or proving myself yet again to a new boss just dissipated. 

I was so inspired that I started meeting with my fellow teachers and reminding them that what they do in that classroom every day was the main thing and that wouldn’t change no matter who our principal was. Valuable lesson learned!

So when I picked up my daughter that afternoon, I brought her a snack and a drink. After the typical “how was your day” talk, I told her that: “I am different from dad and will do different things on our rides to & from school, but the main thing is that you arrive safely every time. So whether it is me or dad taking you to school our goal is the same no matter the difference in our styles.” Then I explained to her that she and I will develop our own special “thing” and that I’d like to start by bringing her a snack and drink when I pick her up. 

She smiled and said, “I like that.” 

That day I got to teach my daughter a valuable lesson on what the “main thing” is and to be careful in comparing “what IS” to “what WAS.” It was also a great reminder for me of a lesson learned but forgotten about a bad habit I tend to have as well. So despite having a change in leader or a driver to school, we all need to re-focus on what the main goal is, or as Mr. Covey said:

“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”...Lesson learned and lesson relearned.

I don’t know what circumstances you have that are changing: new job, new season of life, kids in a new phase of adolescence, etc, but what I do know is that by staying focused on the main thing of who you are and what you are “there” to do, then you will be successful in that new circumstance. So no more comparing “what IS to what WAS,” and go find love and joy in today as you refocus on your “main thing.”

Know Better. Do Better. Live Better. Focus on the Main Thing.

Rocks Before Sand!

Scripture: “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

~Philippians 3:13-14 NIV

References:

• Covey, S. R. (1989). The seven habits of highly effective people: Restoring the character ethic. New York: Simon and Schuster.
• Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.®  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians%203%3A13-14&version=NIV