4 minute read 
by Bethany Rees 

“Dear…” Series: Many of us put on a brave face or wear a mask to hide our internal struggles with: guilt, fear, comparison, unworthiness, regret, unforgiveness, rejection, anger, and grief. The “Dear…” series is dedicated to shedding light, hope, and freedom on these internal battles that we often face alone. BUT, we are not alone! Because of Jesus, we can win our battles and find freedom.

Dear Unforgiveness,

Be gone! Your presence hardens my heart and hinders my relationships with others.  You continually try to rob me of peace, joy, and worship but no more.  I will no longer ingest your poison.

You use the bait of offense to lure me into your bondage. You build walls around my heart to keep others out. You tell me it’s for my own good so I’ll never be hurt again. 

You have me drinking your poison in hopes that the other person dies. You trick me into thinking I am punishing the other person for what they have done to me, but the truth is that it’s my own heart and spirit that you are torturing.  

You lie and tell me that forgiveness minimizes what was done to me. It doesn’t! 

You lie when you tell me when I forgive that I have to be able to forget that the incident ever happened. I don’t! 

You manipulate my thoughts by telling me that if I forgive then being “the good Christian” means that I must reconcile even if they have an unrepentant heart and the mistreatment continues. I don’t!

Unforgiveness, God has shown me your wicked ways of manipulation, and He has changed my heart and mind concerning you. 

I Confess: 

Unforgiveness, I have let you be my guide for far too long. I have taken your easier path of offense that taught me to put all blame on the other person. I have let your feeling of offense negatively affect all of my relationships with my internal thoughts, my family, my friends, and my co-workers. 

In the name of justice and self-righteousness, I have allowed you to blind me from my own imperfections and who the real enemy is…the devil, not the person…but now I see you for what you really are: 

• a liar telling me forgiveness releases the other person from responsibility 
• a manipulator highlighting the wrong actions of others, but hiding the selfish posture of my heart and my own inappropriate behaviors
• a poison that first tastes sweet with revenge, but slowly rots to kill me from the inside. 

Proverbs 17:9 “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.” (NLT)

Hebrews 12:15 “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;”

I Repent:

The poison and the blinders you peddle to appeal to my flesh of justification, selfishness, self-righteousness, revenge, and not having to take any ownership of the situation, are no longer being bought by me.

I no longer feel lured by the emotions of anger and offense you try to stir up within me. I know now that forgiveness is a choice and not a feeling. I choose to forgive those that treat me in a negative way.  When things happen, as I know they will because all humans are flawed, I will choose to respond in love and not anger and unforgiveness.

Through the power of the Holy Spirit that lives inside of me, I will forgive those that have offended me. I will pray for them, and I will bless them. I will do good to those who have offended me.

Romans 12:17-21 “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”  To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

I Cast Off:

Unforgiveness, in the name of Jesus, I rebuke you. 

Your lies will no longer keep me in the bondage of anger and hurt. Your manipulation of my emotions will no longer evoke big reactions to prove my innocence and another’s guilt.  

Move along Unforgiveness because you have been replaced by the love of Jesus. The days of your influence over my relationships have come to an end.

Matthew 6:14 “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

I Bless:

In reading God’s word, I am now seeing just how much Jesus talked about love and forgiveness. As he even hung on the cross being brutally murdered, he uttered the words, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’” 

With Jesus being my example, I will pray and ask for the Spirit to fill me with love instead of hate and forgiveness instead of unforgiveness. 

Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,”

Mark 11:24-26 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Luke 23:34 “And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’”

1 Peter 3:9 “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”

So Unforgiveness, by the time you read this blog post…know that you no longer have space in my heart, mind, and soul for they are completely devoted to the love of God and the love of others. 

I am no longer offended by others, but am full of love, compassion, and forgiveness.

Know Better. Do Better. Live Better. Forgive.

Rocks before Sand!

Scripture: 

“Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” ~ Matthew 18:21-22

Theme Song: 

Matthew West - Forgiveness

References Used:

• The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
• Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
• Freedom: Small Group Leader Guide produced by Church of the Highlands https://freedom.churchofthehighlands.com/curriculum  

Bible Verses About Unforgiveness: 

Proverbs 17:9 “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.” (NLT)

Hebrews 12:15 “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;”

Romans 12:17-21 “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”  To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Matthew 6:14 “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,”

Mark 11:24-26 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Luke 23:34 “And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’”

1 Peter 3:9 “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”